Politically Correct Cat Facts

1. My cat does not barf hairballs, he is a floor/rug redecorator. -
2. My cat does not break things, she helps gravity do its job.
3. - My cat does not fear dogs, they are merely sprint practice tools. -
4. My cat does not gobble, she eats with alacrity. -
5. My cat does not scratch, he is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator. -
6. My cat does not yowl, he is singing off-key. -
7. My cat is not a "shedding machine", she is a hair relocation stylist. -
8. My cat is not a "treat-seeking missile", she enjoys the proximity of food. -
9. My cat is not a bed hog, he is a mattress appreciator. -
10. My cat is not a chatterbox, she is advising me on what to do next. -
11. My cat is not a dope addict, she is catnip appreciative. -
12. My cat is not a lap fungus, he is bed selective. -
13. My cat is not a pest, she is attention deprived. - My cat is not a ruthless hunter, she is a wildlife control expert. -
14. My cat is not evil, she is badness enhanced. -
15. My cat is not fat, he is mass enhanced.